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By pastorbillwalden
Most marriages will go through times that leave a husband feeling bored with his wife, or vice versa. 
Even the best marriages can experience this.
Proverbs 27:20 Hell and Destruction are never full; So the eyes of man are never satisfied.
The eyes, the flesh, and the desires of man are never satisfied, or, in other words, the nature of man always wants continual gratification. If a man is focused only on self gratification, he will grow bored with his wife, and begin to see only her problems, flaws, and weaknesses. He will compare her to other women, thinking that he would be better off with someone else. His heart will wander, his thoughts will wander, and his actions may follow.
The Christian man has a clear and high calling regarding his relationship with and responsibility to his wife.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…
The Christian husband is called to understand the supreme example of husband-hood in the relationship between Jesus and His church. Jesus is the example of how husbands are to pursue loving their wives.
If Jesus is the example of the perfect Husband, then that means that every Christian is Jesus’ bride, regardless of gender. A Christian man needs to see himself first as the Bride of Christ before he can rightly see himself as the husband to his wife.
If Jesus is the perfect example of what the Husband does for his wife, then we need to consider all that Jesus does for His Bride, the Church. Consider John 10:10 as it applies to Jesus and His Bride.
John 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
Jesus came to give abundant life to His Church, His Bride. That means super exceeding, beyond the norm, abounding, rich, full life. Abundant life is living life to the full. Not in the realm that the world suggests, with more possessions, more relationships, etc. Jesus came to give us a spiritual life that brings abundance and richness to living. Abundant Life is the exact opposite of boring life. Jesus lived the Abundant Life, and He seeks to bring us into that Life.
So what are the applications for husbands who are feeling that they are stuck in a boring marriage?
If you are a Christian husband, are you living the Abundant Life, or even seeking it? Jesus said He came that you might have it. Abundant Living starts with you, and will never leave you bored. Seek after it. Do it with great determination and purpose.
If you are a Christian husband, and feel that you are in a boring marriage, don’t believe the lies of the world and Satan that suggest you ought to spice up your marriage with some drink or smoke, with some X rated films, or some flirting with another woman. That is what the Thief says. He comes to kill, steal, and destroy. How many marriages have actually gotten better and more godly through smoke, drink, pornography, flirting, gambling, etc? None. Zero.
If you are a Christian husband who feels your marriage is boring, how much are you seeking Jesus? Jesus seeks to bring YOU Abundant Life, and you often don’t or haven’t gone along with His idea, but he has never given up on you.
Christian husband: it is your responsibility to seek the Abundant Life first for yourself, and then bring it to your wife. Maybe your wife is boring or bored because of years of you neglecting her. The joy of living has been drained out of her by your selfishness. Seek Abundant Life in Jesus, and then bring your wife along. Neither of you will be bored.
Be a godly man. Draw close to God through His word, through prayer, through serving others. Seek to bless your wife instead of complaining about how boring she is and finding fault with her. If she is boring to you, it is because you have not spiritually led her to Abundant Life in Christ.
If your wife is boring to you, is very well may be a result of you not investing your life into her. Husbands often make their wives into something other than what Jesus wants, and then they complain about it.
Christian husband: Man up. Seek Jesus. Walk in the Abundant Life, and take your wife with you. There is Abundant Marriage to be discovered and enjoyed.
By pastorbillwalden
The church at Ephesus faced more cultural, social, and spiritual changes than we do. Slavery existed, gladiators were killed for entertainment, idolatry was rampant, and the opposition against Christianity was strong. 
In the face of all that, Paul the Apostle told the Ephesian Christians to “walk worthy of the calling with which they were called”. (Ephesians 4:1)
Simply put: Be the Christian that you are.
The Ephesians were to impact their world first and foremost by living for Christ.
Whatever else they would do would be the fruit of walking with Christ.
The Church needs to remember that we are not called to react emotionally and try to fix our culture.
God is more concerned about our culture than we are, and His plans are better than ours.
May whatever changes take place through our lives be a result of our steady faith in Jesus.
Paul was a…
1. Conduit Of Comfort
2. Conduit of Confidence
3. Conduit Of Christ.
Click here to read the notes and hear the sermon.
Click on “The Conduit Church”.
Blessings…
By pastorbillwalden
It has been said that the church is a hospital. A place where hurting people go to be healed up by God and His people. A place where the wounded can go and not be expected to do much. In part, I agree with that concept. Church should be a place where the wounded can go and experience healing.
But is church “just” a hospital.
Think about your last visit to a hospital. You went to be taken care of. You expected people to do things for you. If they didn’t help you get better, you got frustrated, because it’s their job to “make you better”.
If they were successful, and you felt better, you left. In fact, you probably couldn’t wait to leave. You didn’t stay to involve yourself with other patients. You didn’t consider the needs of the caregivers, staff, doctors, or nurses. You got better, and then you left.
A church is a hospital, but it is much more. It is a family, a community, a body. If people come to be healed, then good, they should. But if, when they have become healthy (God knows when that is) and then they decide that “their felt needs” have been met, and then they leave, then they have missed much of what Church is designed by God to be. They have gone from being a patient to a consumer. They have gone from being needy to being self focused, or at least ignorant that there are other patients that could use their help.
It is true that one church might help bring healing to someone, who God then directs to serve somewhere else. That person sees the Church as more than a hospital. That’s good.
I am sympathetic to people’s needs for healing. But I know that the Church is designed by God to be much more than a hospital. It is designed to be a family.
Being a patient means you receive. Being a family member means you give. Let’s not do the first and neglect the second.
By pastorbillwalden
Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.
“…unless we day by day voluntarily and deliberately remind ourselves of this righteousness we need, we are not very likely to be hungering and thirsting after it. The man who truly hungers and thirsts after it makes himself look at it every day.
“But”, you say, “I am so tremendously busy. Look at my agenda. Where have I time?” I say if you are hungering and thirsting after righteousness you will find time. You will order your life, you will say, “First things must come first…” Where there is a will, there is a way. It is amazing how we find time to do the things we want to.
The man who is hungering and thirsting after righteousness always puts himself in the way of getting it. You cannot create it of yourself…But at any rate, you do know there are certain ways it seems to have come to [the heroes of the faith] so you begin to imitate their example.
Read more »
By pastorbillwalden
Just a few thoughts here…
The reason for the 101“b”, is that there is a difference (at least to me) in planting a church you are going to stay at versus planting a church that you are planning to step away from. The differences aren’t huge, but they are there.
101a: plant and stay. 101b: plant and pass it on to someone else.
Church planters may gain some insights out of this. All Believers can probably unearth a few nuggets.
We planted Cornerstone in October of 1991, with the intention of staying. It has been different with St. Helena Community Church (SHHC) in that for a while, I thought I might pastor at two locations. I have been with this group for two years. The Lord finally made it very clear that I was not to be their permanent pastor, and my thought processes began to change. Here are a few things that I learned or was reminded of… Read more »
By pastorbillwalden
The Church Universal And The Church Local
In the prison letters (Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians), Paul deals with the church collectively as the body of Christ, the bride, and the temple. In the pastoral epistles (such as Timothy and Titus), he deals with the church serving Christ as a local body. Both emphases are necessary for a balanced ministry.
Certainly God sees the whole body with Christ as the Head; but as far as the ministry is concerned, He works through the local assemblies in different places. The “church universal” (body of Christ) into which the believer is baptized by the Spirit is a valid concept; but the “universal church” concept is not a substitute for the action of the local church.
The “universal church” never sent out a missionary, built a hospital, observed the Lord’s Supper, or helped a needy family. It is the local church that receives the greater emphasis in the NT, but the ministry of the local church will be stronger if the members realize their position in the body of Christ.
Warren Wiersbe
By pastorbillwalden
Just for review, we have used the following as a definition for “Churchianity”.
“Churchianity” is a pejorative term used to describe practices of Christianity that are viewed as placing a larger emphasis on the habits of church life or the institutional traditions of a specific Christian denomination than on the teachings of Jesus. It can also be used to describe churches across many denominations where the central focus has moved from Christ to the church. Hence the replacement of Christ with church in the word “Churchianity.”
My paraphrase: Churchianity: When God’s people do “church” their way instead of His way. This applies to pastors, elder, deacons, denominations, non-denominations, movements, para-church organizations, and church attendees.
God’s ways are perfect, and ours are obviously not. Sometimes our ways are innocent mistakes with good intentions. We see the error of our ways, and make corrections. Sometimes, good intentions turn into church traditions that are not biblical, and they limit or damage people. Other times, God’s people, from pew to pulpit, decide that they want their way, and do wrong things in the name of God within the “church” setting.
The result is some degree of people getting hurt and leaving “organized religion” for some safer style of relating to other Christians.
Emotionally, I don’t blame them. I have been tempted to do the same thing, but there is this bothersome problem of being called to be a pastor. 
I understand the mentality of wanting to avoid Body Life, but I believe that those dear folks who separate from the greater “Body of Christ” are missing out on the good that IS to be found in the Body, somewhere.
As the human body has many parts, so the Body of Christ has many members. People with different gifts, abilities, tendencies, personalities, callings, offices, etc. As with any metaphor, there are exceptions when making application, and no metaphor is perfect. I hope that you can glean the truths that are here, and not look for the exceptions that don’t match up.
What is true with the human body is also true of the Body of Christ. The strength of a human body is the sum of the parts all working together in a healthy fashion. Health is when all the parts of the body are present and working together as they were designed to do.
The human body can exist without many of its parts. Life goes on if you are missing a hand or a foot. Life continues though one is blind or deaf. Paralysis of a limb doesn’t bring death. But with any of those scenarios, life isn’t what it should or could be, either for the non-functioning part, or for the body that exists without that part’s contribution. The design is for all the parts to be gathered together and working in conjunction with each other. That is physical health.
The spiritual application is obvious. The Body of Christ is healthiest when every part is working with every other part, or at least present, available, and healthy enough to do so.
Ephesians 4:15, 16 “…but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—16from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.”
Believers who separate from “Body Life” are absolutely on their way to Heaven. They are not second-class citizens in God’s Kingdom. Christians can gather with two or three, and Jesus IS there among them. Those truths cannot be argued, and I won’t even try. It’s true. That is fellowship, and it can be edifying and fulfilling.
But I suggest that God has more for us than a minimalist approach of carefully managed fellowship. Jesus spoke of “abundant life”. (John 10:10) Surely, this must include the fullness of God’s design for Body Life.
Why would God design His church to have many parts, and then be O.K. with those parts not directly interacting with each other? I think He wants more for us than a purposed segregation of the Body.
The question is this: If you are a Christian, are you experiencing Body Life? I am not even talking the traditional idea of the “church setting”, though that seems to illustrate it well. Are you part of something that resembles a functioning spiritual Body?
Think of the different gifts and offices that God has established within His Body. Prophets, evangelists, pastors, teachers, people with gifts of mercy, administration, helps, word of knowledge and wisdom, etc. When the Body gathers together with all of its parts in attendance, the potential to be used is exponentially increased. People show up and, in essence say, “I am here, and I am committed to this Body. If there are needs that I can help with, I am right here, and you don’t have to go looking for me”.
Commitment to a local Body allows for personal relationships to be established, for love and trust to be established between people. You can help people who are strangers, but it is so much more meaningful for them if they know you love them, and they trust you. They are more willing to receive help from a loving friend.
Being part of a local Body means that you are present, and available to be loved. You discover people that you can begin to trust, and that can minister to you. Though we can exist alone, we thrive when we are a part of a community, a Body, a group that can fill in that which is lacking in our own life.
Dear saints, if you are one of the victims of Churchianity, I am sorry. I encourage you to re-consider God’s design, and all the potential of that design. Body Life positions you to use your gifts in a greater way, which is so rewarding for us as Believers. Body Life also positions you to be better ministered to, and loved on.
I haven’t mentioned it, but church attendees are not the only victims of Churchianity. There are many pastors and church leaders that have been hurt by the flock. Betrayal and failure goes in both directions. Many times church leaders have been horribly maligned by a mob mentality that is moved more by emotion and gossip than by maturity and love. Pastors and church leaders need Body Life too. Pray for pastors and church leaders to return to their callings. Love them back, and encourage them back.
If you return to Body Life, is there a chance you might get hurt again? Yes. In fact, at some point, you will get hurt. Part of Body Life is that there are sick members in the Body. There always will be, at least here on Earth. And remember this: all of us are sick to some degree, but amputation or paralysis is not the answer.
Find some way to re-enter into the fullness of Body Life, where you are available to all the other parts of the Body, and where you are easily accessible to them as well. There are people that need your gift to be exercised. Find a gathering of Believers, show up late, slip in the back door, watch and listen and pray, leave early, don’t look too many people in the eyes, smile and don’t linger, play it “safe” to some degree, but take the step of faith that is necessary to re-enter Body Life.
I suggest that we ever hold the high view of what God has for us a Body, as a community. It takes more work, but the blessings are exponentially returned to us.
That’s His design for us. That’s the design that best brings Him glory. Isn’t that what we want? I think it is.
Lord, we pray for your church, your Body, your children. Bring us back to esteeming and embracing your design for our community living, and then bring us back to the practical engagement of all your ways and plans, for Your glory.
Amen.
By pastorbillwalden
The highest and greatest organization on Earth is Jesus’ Church. That is true because it is designed and built by Him, and shall go on into eternity. Microsoft can’t make that claim, nor can any other great organization you might think of.
Though the Church is the greatest entity on Earth, it has been guilty of many sins. The sins that have most captured my attention are the ones closest to me. I have learned much about the hurts brought on by the Church, even from within the Calvary Chapel movement, of which I am (still) gratefully a part.
I am saddened for those victimized by the Church. I am equally saddened by the decision of many Believers to never return to “organized religion”. It is to those dear saints that I wish to write.
To those still not wanting any part of “organized religion”, I ask that you would bear with me. I know that me being a pastor probably brings a gag reflex to your body, but please, consider what I have to say.
I have tried to show in these previous articles that I at least have a clue of what some of you have been through. I don’t claim to know first hand, and I will not say, “I know how you feel”, because I don’t. I do understand what God’s word says to all who bear the name “Christian”. I come to you based on His words, not mine. I also come because I see what happens when we go our own way, based on our emotions. Been there and done that myself. 
None of us can live by our emotions, whether that emotion is pain, happiness, lust, hate, or kindness. Pain will paralyze us and cause us to sequester ourselves away. Happiness can cause us to throw caution to the wind. Lust that rules us also destroys us. Hate is poison to our souls. Kindness can make us vulnerable to dangerous situations, if not balanced with wisdom.
Those with teenagers understand what an emotionally driven life looks like. Hormones are the tools of Satan. Come on Mom and Dad, you know what I am talking about. Teenagers are scary creatures, driven by emotions and positive that they are correct about everything.
We warn our kids about not living by their emotions, but we fall victim to the same snares. Whatever negative consequences we warn our kids about will also come to us. We cannot be emotionally ruled people. We cannot. It’s dangerous. It doesn’t make sense. We would caution everyone we know not to live by their emotions. You know it’s true.
If society were ruled by emotions, we wouldn’t have enough law enforcement to control the chaos. We couldn’t trust anyone to keep his or her word. People would change their minds about everything, simply because they felt like it. Common sense restrains us from stupidity. Laws restrain us from crimes. The Holy Spirit seeks to restrain Christians from foolish decisions.
Emotions can be great, or they can be deadly. We need a higher standard for our decision making.
If church leaders or a pastor has hurt you, you should be mad. You should be very mad. I’m sure that you are mad. I am mad with you, and for you. That is righteous anger.
Chances are that the church leader that hurt you made a bunch of emotional decisions and claimed to be led by God. It doesn’t go well when that happens, does it?
But can you, I, or we, live by the emotions of hurt, anger, a sense of injustice, bitterness, or fear of getting hurt again? No, we can’t. I want to sometimes, but I can’t.
I need to keep coming back to church too, and not just because it’s my paycheck. It is because Christians belong with all God’s people. That’s His idea. You may be meeting with other Believers in a casual setting, and feel that is enough. That you don’t need to come to “Church”.
Chances are good that your group is a hand picked group that thinks and feels just like you do. That is not Body Life; that is simply hands meeting with hands, feet with feet, etc. That might be fellowship, but it’s not Body Life.
You need to be with the Body, the big picture, the whole church. You need to be with people you don’t like, and that bother you. They need you, and you need them. The Body must have ALL the parts present.
Every country song that sings about “looking for love in all the wrong places” illustrates what I am saying. We are fairly intelligent and reasonable creatures UNTIL our emotions take over. We do stuff based on emotions, crash and burn, and then do it again. Someone has rightly said that insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result.
I’ll write again soon. I am a pastor, and your brother. Come back and join the family of God. The entire family of God. We need what you have to offer, and you….believe it or not….need us too.
I’ll write again soon…
NOTE- I am presently teaching a series on the Church. Check the sermon notes and look under “Topical”.
By pastorbillwalden
This little story is not directed towards any one church, but is a compilation of the stories of many people I have talked to and read about. May we love His Body, the Church.
Talk To The Hand
“Talk to the hand”. Hand liked the sound of that.
The phrase described Hand as a “go to” guy; the guy people would ask to help them get things done. Hand was a problem solver. Hand was selfless. Hand was happy to help Body with any need. He liked being a “go to” guy. If there was a need, Body would direct others to Hand. Hand thought the phrase had a good ring to it. “Talk To The Hand”. It was a compliment.
But as time passed, the phrase took on a new meaning for Hand. Hand had somewhere heard the phrase used in a negative way. When someone didn’t want to discuss something, he would hold up his hand and say, “talk to the hand”, meaning that the discussion had ended. For Hand, that eventually became the meaning of the phrase in his life.
Hand had been with Body since the beginning. He had served Body well. Because of Hand’s efforts, Body had grown and become strong. Maybe a little too strong, Hand thought. Hand had never imagined that he would ever separate from Body, but eventually he saw no other option. Body had become sick and dangerous.
It wasn’t that Hand had never talked about the problems that Body was having, but some very painful experiences had brought Hand to this point in life. Over time and much agonizing, Hand had made up his mind to separate from Body.
He didn’t want to talk about it. He was sick of talking about it. It hurt too much to talk about it. He saw no other option. After many words, prayers, and tears, Hand separated from Body. Hand was devastated, but such was life. Some didn’t understand. Others understood far too well.
In the beginning, the relationship between Hand and Mouth had been good. He enjoyed being Hand, and was happy to fulfill his part in helping Mouth with his ministry.
But things changed as time passed. Hand noticed that as Body grew, Mouth was saying a lot of pompous things, and was bossing people around horribly. As Hand objected to Mouth’s words and actions, Mouth insinuated that Body needed Mouth, but that Mouth didn’t need Body, or Hand, for that matter.
Hand also noticed that others were discussing Mouth. He hated hearing these guarded conversations. Body was dividing. Hand could see it.
Ear was too eager to hear gossip and pass it on. Mouth used the pulpit to remind Body that Mouth was in control. Mouth had forgotten that Body belonged to Head, and that Head was the real leader of Body. Mouth was getting mouthier. Foot got nervous, and left. Ear was too eager to hear gossip. Heart got hardened, and was unforgiving.
And everyone was asking, “Where is Head?”
All of this happened as Hand continued to serve, struggling with how to rectify the problems with Body. Hand loved Body, but he was torn over what he saw and felt. Hand had trusted Mouth for years, but he was now disillusioned.
Hand watched Body lose members. He felt lost in the midst of this dying Body. Hand tried to talk to Mouth, but Mouth felt threatened, and turned on Hand. Hand and his family were seen as the enemy of Mouth. Mouth made sure that Body knew Hand was a troublemaker.
Finally, Hand and his family left Body. Body suffered, because individuals were suffering. Like many of his fellow members, Hand wondered why Head seemed absent. Didn’t Head love Body? Where was He?
Invisibly and seemingly absent, Head suffered even more.
Fast forward some years.
Head proved Himself to be the faithful leader of Body. Head removed Mouth and some others, and brought NewMouth to speak His words. Members began to return to the blessings of Body.
Slowly, hope returned to Body. NewMouth spoke of grace, and others began to speak of grace too. Foot returned, Ear listened with love, and Heart became soft again.
Head was healing Body.
As Body healed, people began to ask about Hand. They missed him. Hand had been such an integral part of Body. Where was Hand? Had anybody seen him? Had anybody heard from him?
Questions became discussions, and discussions were finally recognized as promptings from Head.
Head was prompting Body to reach out to Hand.
“Someone needs to talk to Hand.” Prayers began to go up for Hand.
Spirit began to move, and Hand started feeling something inside.
By pastorbillwalden
One aspect of the modern media that I believe to be dangerous is the sound bite.
Regarding sound bites, Wikipedia tells us:
In film and broadcasting, a sound bite is a very short piece of footage taken from a longer speech or an interview in which someone with authority or the average “man on the street” says something which is considered by those who edit the speech or interview to be the most important point. As the context of what is being said is missing, the insertion of sound bites into news broadcasts or documentaries is open to manipulation and thus requires a very high degree of journalistic ethics. Politicians of the new generation are carefully coached by their spin doctors to produce on-demand sound bites which are clear and to the point.
Sound bites are designed to give us a very quick view of something, and then have us make up our mind based upon that very limited information. As Wikipedia rightly says, the sound bite is open to manipulation and must be presented with a high degree of ethics.
We like sound bites because they give us a little information that we don’t have to work hard to attain. They make life easy, but in the end, they can make us shallow.
Avoiding the sound bite mentality must be practiced when speaking of Churchianity (problems in the church) , and then also when we speak about the “Church” the way Jesus designed it to be.
Part of the problem of Churchianity is that leadership sometimes gives “sound bite” instructions to their congregations. People are told what to believe, how to live, and who to like, love or avoid. When questioned “why” such things are so, leadership sometimes responds with “sound bite” answers which can be intimidating, and don’t help the congregant understand why such things are true or supposedly true. Those questioning are made to feel stupid for even asking “why”.
Often, the end result of “soundbitism” is that Christians don’t have a deep understanding of why they believe what they believe. They simply parrot what the leadership told them, and believe what they believe because they were told to. They become more and more a part of a Churchianity environment. That was never Jesus’ plan.
If church leadership isn’t leading well, questions and criticisms should arise. When church leadership uses a sound bite methodology for answering valid questions and criticisms, the questioners are left with nothing. They are not treated as though their concerns are valid, and they they are ignored as the leader goes on to the next willing listener. These questioners are then ushered out the door.
When congregants are treated that way, they will often (and sometimes very rightly) leave that church. Or they may leave The Church, vowing to never be a part of “organized religion” ever again. I don’t think that second option is the right thing to do.
Church leaders, congregants, and ex/former congregants that claim to follow Jesus all need to be able to say why they believe what they believe, and support that belief system from God’s Word. Otherwise, anything goes.
Pastors who respond to questions with “Because I said so”, are, in my opinion, VERY wrong for doing that. That’s a sound bite. Church attenders who recite a creed or system for Christian living are not allowed to say, in my opinion, “I believe thus and so because the pastor said so”. Ex and former congregants who still follow Jesus but will not commit to SOME kind of Christian gathering cannot simply say, “Because that’s how I feel about it”.
These are all examples of “sound bites”. They are not clear explanations of the whole story, and they are designed to produce a desired result.
My hope in writing these articles is that all Christians will have a high view of Jesus’ Church. We cannot reduce His church down to sound bite discussions. Being in His church requires thought and commitment.
I am currently teaching a topical series on the Church. The notes can be found in the Sermon Notes link on this blogsite, under Topical Studies.
In brief, what we have studied so far:
1. The Church is built on Jesus. It is His creation. He died to establish it. (Matthew 16)
2. The Church presently, and forever will, display the manifold wisdom of God to both angels and demons (Ephesians 3)
3. When angels want to understand God’s incredible work of salvation, they look at the Church. (1 Peter 1)
May every Christian have a high and respectful view of Jesus’ Church, which is His Body, His Bride. In spite of the many wrongs done by both leaders and congregants, may none of us treat His church with any kind of “sound bite” attitude.
Jesus said that He would build His Church, and that the gates of Hell would not prevail against it. Regardless of our experiences, that is true. May we experience the truth of His words.
Blessings…
Even the best marriages can experience this.