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By pastorbillwalden
Christians have unique struggles when it comes to dealing with people. 
By God’s grace, we have been granted insights into wonderful truths about God. His indwelling Spirit helps us discern truth from error. His Word gives us wisdom beyond our natural instincts. His Presence within us brings tremendous healing.
We then encounter people who have problems, and we are rightfully eager to share the truths of God with these people that we care about (or ought to care about).
Often times, we can inadvertently be so eager to help these people “do better”, “be healed”, “see the light”, etc., that we rush ahead to the goal of what must feel like to some, “fixing a problem”, instead of “loving a person”.
I fall into this mentality at times. I don’t mean to, it’s just that I am “in a hurry”, and I need to quickly “dispense the medicine” and move on to whatever is next. I don’t mean to be that way, but sometimes I am.
Now the Holy Spirit blows like the wind (John 3:8), and no two situations are ever exactly the same, but consider this as you may be trying to help people…
We need to genuinely love them, listen to them, and not be in a hurry to “fix them”.
Unbelievers are often quick to love folks without trying to fix them, or at least that has been my experience. I am sometimes amazed at hearing how unbelievers spend countless hours helping friends, loving kids, doing good deeds, etc. It is no wonder that many folks are attracted to those who show such acts of love with no strings attached.
Christians know that man’s greatest need is a relationship with Jesus. All the good deeds in the world will never replace salvation through Jesus Christ.
I am not suggesting that we love people so that we can “earn the right” to speak into their lives.
I am suggesting that we love them because Jesus loves them. Period.
Just some thoughts….
By pastorbillwalden
There is a great and awesome day coming when Jesus will judge the nations. It will be a day of blessedness for some, and a day of terror for others. It will be a day of perfect clarity in the minds and hearts of all humanity. It will be a day of overwhelming joy and horrible regret.
Matthew 25:31, 32 “When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats.”
I find it very interesting that many do not consider the judgment of God to be true.
The understanding and expectation of judgment is put into the heart of man by God Himself.
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By pastorbillwalden
There is a great and awesome day coming when Jesus will judge the nations. It will be a day of blessedness for some, and a day of terror for others. It will be a day of perfect clarity in the minds and hearts of all humanity. It will be a day of overwhelming joy and horrible regret.
Matthew 25:31, 32 “When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats.”
I find it very interesting that many do not consider the judgment of God to be true.
The understanding and expectation of judgment is put into the heart of man by God Himself.
Read more »
By pastorbillwalden
The heart of God is amazing. He is far beyond us regarding His concern for people. Every one counts. God is concerned for every person on this Earth. He cares for the ones that we overlook and that we might sadly consider “out of reach”. He seeks those ones who would take “too much effort” to love and care for. He is concerned for the “less thans” and the insignificant. He seeks those who have estranged themselves from Him, either through negligence or by determined choice.
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By pastorbillwalden
The man or woman who walks with Jesus will be concerned about people. They will notice the needs of people, as did Jesus, and as He still does. Jesus will use His present day disciples to meet people’s needs. We who follow Jesus must be sensitive to how He is leading us to minister to others.
Matthew records for us what has come to be known as “The Feeding Of The 5,000.” The actual number of people was more than this.
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By pastorbillwalden
Most of us don’t like being disagreed with. All of us resent an unjust accusations, especially when they comes as we are trying to do good.
Jesus sought to heal a paralytic man, and was accused of blasphemy. Jesus was trying to enhance a man’s life. Blasphemy was punishable by stoning. The two positions couldn’t be further apart, but notice Jesus’ desire to win his accusers to Himself.
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By pastorbillwalden
I have come to greatly enjoy writing, and receiving feedback on my thoughts. I never would have guessed this even a year ago, but it has been a great discovery.
Some of the unique blessings of writing online is the immediate exposure of your ideas to an audience that wants to hear from you. I can also receive feedback very quickly. The process is amazing.
And honestly, I like the idea that my thoughts mean something to someone. We are all like that.
I am a pastor, and by nature, a communicator about Jesus. My blog stats tell me that some people find my thoughts interesting. I like to share, I like to be heard, and I like feedback.
Delays in communication can inhibit my interest in writing and communicating with people. I have some ideas for a book, but there isn’t any immediate feedback during the book writing process, so I blog instead. Immediate gratification is what it’s all about, right?
I’d much rather talk than write. I’d much rather write online than send a letter. I have gotten quite spoiled at being able to interact with people very quickly. That’s how I want it. I can’t imagine living in a time when there was only communication by letters carried by men on horses.
That brings me to the point of this article.
One in every hundred Americans is currently in prison. Some of them are in their cells 23 hours a day. I am talking about a 5′ x 10′ cell, designed for one man, but holding two.
I am not writing to talk about poor prison conditions, or how we should treat prisoners, or get tougher or softer on prisoners. None of that is my point.
My point is this: I take for granted my ability to communicate freely with other Christians all over the world. Life in prison can be quite limiting for those desiring edifying Christian interaction. If a man or woman wants to have true Christian fellowship in prison, there aren’t a lot of options. Some of these folks are denied access to chapel services for good or bad reasons. Sadly, most prisoners aren’t seeking deeper and more meaningful spiritual interaction, from what I have heard.
One option is to write to inmates, or at least send them articles, Christian literature, etc. Caution is always needed about revealing personal information, etc. You don’t have to be a writer to communicate ideas with prisoners. You can cut articles out of magazines, or print blog articles of your favorite online writers. Find articles that speak to your heart, and let someone else’s writing do the talking for you.
Or you may be blessed to be able to write and express yourself. That’s great too.
Long story short: Pray about being able to encourage a prisoner in the Christian faith, or about sharing Jesus with an unbeliever who is incarcerated.
By pastorbillwalden
I am posting a recent comment by Susan regarding a young man who is a mutual friend and loved one. We are both privileged to know him. I really mean it when I say privileged. My coming to know him was through some tragic circumstances, and it is always bittersweet to see him, since he is now in prison for life. My visits with him are far more sweet than bitter.
A person who is living for Jesus, even under the most difficult circumstances, can make times of visiting really sweet. Such is my experience with our common friend. Every time.
All who know and love my friend understand the limitations and imperfections of the human justice system. We understand what the law sees and what it doesn’t see. We understand that man’s inability to bring perfect judgment is the nature of the world we live in.
None of us are trying to overturn the judgment that was made. In our hearts we wish it were different, because we have a perspective that only a few have. We also undertand that we are not feeling the incredible pain of others, who would also disagree with the judment in an opposite fashion.
I thank God that we have a judicial system, but it is not perfect. Thankfully, as Christians, we live under God’s grace and not just human law. God’s perfect grace tempers human law, at least within the soul of a child of God. Our friend has an eternal perspective that tempers what could be a deadening sorrow of the soul.
He is following the admontion of the writer to the Hebrews, who said, “…looking unto Jesus…”. (Hebrews 12:2) That decision brings life to him in the near lifeless world he now inhabits.
Finally, these comments are not intended to criticize the system. Rather, the focus is to point out a young man whose life has been radically altered by his sin and the sins of others, but who is choosing to live for Jesus, in spite of the wrongs done againt him, and the wrongs he himself has done.
Here is Susan’s post, which I wanted to highlight. I also wrote about our friend on November 14, 2007, in an article called “The Birth Of Compassion”.
Here is the link to that previous post: http://pastorbillwalden.wordpress.com/2007/11/14/the-birth-of-compassion/
Susan wrote:
Yesterday, I visited a young man who is in prison for life. He made some huge mistakes, and now he is paying a terrible price. Yet every step he has made behind bars has been a step deeper, and farther, with God. I feel truly privileged to be a witness to what God is doing in him, and to be his friend.
At the same time, to see such a young man living in such dreadful conditions, and to know he will spend his whole life, maturing, growing old, and dying, in a crowded and dirty cage, fills me with such bitter sorrow at the waste and suffering, and such disillusionment with a society that would perpetrate this and feel righteous about it, that I am tempted to the despair spoken of in Pastor Bill’s writing. (Referring to the “Things Unseen” post, February 9, 2008)
What saves me from giving in to it is that I see, before my own eyes, God’s power at work. I know that what He has begun in this young man, He will finish, and what looks like dead-end hopelessness is in reality the anteroom of fulfillment. I praise and thank our God for the blessed hope only He can give.
By pastorbillwalden
2007 was a year of new discoveries for me. I discovered that there was a lot I didn’t understand. The discoveries were not regarding book knowledge, but heart knowledge. The things of life. Let me explain.
In June, I became the “father of the bride”. I was blindsided, even though Sarah and Caleb were engaged for months. Caleb asked me well in advance to court Sarah, and then after many months, asked for her hand in marriage. I wasn’t surprised about what was going on, and I knew how this was going to turn out, but I was completely surprised about my reactions to it all.
As their wedding day approached, I was increasingly struck with thoughts and questions about how well I had done as a father. My only daughter was leaving “me”, and this was it. There wasn’t going to be any “do-overs”. I had raised her to follow Jesus, and now she had the nerve to actually follow Jesus, and to be joined to this young man. I was going to have to trust “this guy” to take care of my Princess. (Caleb is a great guy, you know what I mean) There was nothing to object to, and only joy to be felt. Why then, were my emotions swirling so?
Then in August, I became the “father of the groom”, as our son Chris took Melissa as his bride. Once again, personal reflection took over. What kind of man had I raised Chris to be? Had I been too busy with ministry responsibilities? Had I spent enough time with him? The questions charged at me relentlessly. Again, there would be no do-overs with Chris. He was 21, and becoming a husband. The emotions and self-examination rocked me.
This was it. The day of reckoning. The total sum of my worth as a dad was now going to measured. (I momentarily forgot about Jon. Sorry son!)
My kids were starting their own lives, just like they were supposed to. They were marrying great people. They loved Jesus. I should have been nothing but happy, right?
Well, very naturally, I finally got past the weddings. My emotions stabilized, and I started to settle down. Then it happened.
Chris and Melissa got a dog. His name is Tucker, and he is a beautiful Golden Lab.
I have had three dogs in my life, and they were all high maintenance animals. “Digger” was a Black Lab, and he, well…dug a lot. “Bear” was an 80 lb white Samoyed that ate shoes and was a tick magnet. “Brandy” was a cute little Siberian Husky who was half gopher, dug out under the fence a lot, and had lots of puppies as a result.
Me and dogs were not working well.
I finally swore off dogs, seeing no redeeming purpose for them. They were a waste of time, and the return for the effort put into them was not worth it. Then Tucker came along, and suddenly, I felt like a Grandpa. Where in the world did THAT come from? I had a grandpuppy. What in the world happened to me? I even let him in the house, and he sat around our dinner table. And I liked it! Talk about coming in from left field.
This last December 28 (my birthday), I awoke to a call informing me that my friend Roby Duke had died of a massive heart attack. I was stunned. My parents and sister are still alive, thank God. In my 52 years, I had never lost someone so close. I have lost other friends and family, but this was new. I had an emotional connection with Roby that was eclipsed only by my wife Debbie. I spent the next two days searching online for every picture, every article, every blog tribute, and every video of Roby that I could find. I read and listened and Googled over and over. I tried to step away from my computer, but felt emotionally compelled to keep reading, looking, listening. Was there something I missed? Had anyone posted anything new? What was I hoping to accomplish with all this?
I was supposed to see him in three days, and we were “gonna have fun”. We were gonna do music, then he and Erick Hailstone were going to go to “Never Never” land playing guitars. Then we were gonna eat tacos really late on New Year’s Eve off of the taco trucks downtown. We had a plan.
And then he was gone.
I was angry at him. I cried a lot. I smiled a lot. I sobbed. I was all over the map with my emotions. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced.
So what? Glad you asked. You should always ask, “so what?”
My purpose for writing all of this is to share an additional discovery with you all.
The discovery is this: You don’t know until you know.
You don’t KNOW until you KNOW.
YOU don’t know until YOU know.
You DON’T know UNTIL you know.
Catch my drift?
It is very easy for us to view and judge the world based upon our own experiences. We determine how people ought to be feeling. We judge their spirituality based upon how we believe we would react to the same situation. We wonder why they can’t get over things, and determine that they should be further along in their emotional lives.
We minimize their life experiences, and measure their lives by our own. We forget that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made”, uniquely individual. We assume that everyone is like us. They ought to feel like we do, think like we do, and react like we do.
And the crazy insane thing about it is: we are SO sure that we are right.
Of course, that all changes when what they are going through finally comes into our life. Then we really see what we are made of.
Let me confess some things.
I have never, ever been able to relate to things like candle light vigils, flowers and stuffed animals at a makeshift shrine, posters addressed to the deceased, etc. I always thought that that stuff was well, a little extreme.
Now I understand it.
I have never understood what parents went through as the nest was emptying out.
Now I understand it.
I have never known how wrong I could be in judging other people’s reactions to pain sorry, change, loss, etc.
Now I understand it.
One great thing that has come as a result of this year’s discoveries is this: I am a different guy. At least I think so. I certainly hope so.
God has kept His promise to “work all things together for good for those who love God”. (Romans 8:28)
God has taught me a lot through the discoveries of 2007.
I am slowing down a bit now. I am lingering in conversation a bit longer. I am trying harder to look into people’s eyes, and listen more intently. I am trying to love more.
I am trying to not relate with others based upon their feelings for life, their experiences, their reactions, etc. I am trying to listen and understand, and I am trying to simply love people better, regardless if can relate to them at all.
I am revisiting old attitudes that I have had, and repenting of some of them. I am trying to be patient with others who are judging people based upon their limited experiences.
Most of all I am thanking Jesus for stepping into my world. The Bible says that “He was in all ways, temped as we are, and yet without sin”.
I am stuck in my highs and lows. I cannot avoid times of sorrow. I am a man, and stuck in my humanity, good and bad.
But Jesus stepped into MY world, put on flesh, and chose to feel the things I would rather avoid. He did it so that He could be my “Great High Priest”, one who could identify with my weakness, and comfort me.
Some discoveries are things that we go looking for. Other discoveries blindside us.
If you are a Christian, God will use every single one of them for your good and His.
May I encourage you to not be so sure in your judgment of how others ought to be feeling? You probably don’t have all the facts, and you haven’t walked in their shoes. You very possibly don’t now how they feel, and if you had more facts, you would probably change your tune about them.
And, more than anything, …remember that Jesus LOVES them.
He loves you too.
By pastorbillwalden
I have a friend in whom God is doing an incredible work. Compassion is being birthed in him. It has been more costly to him than I dare say, but the result that is coming forth is incredible.
Birth is painful. I was with my wife Debbie at the birth of our children. Debbie grew increasingly uncomfortable as the time of birth approached. There were months of increasing pain and discomfort prior to her giving birth.
When Sarah, our firstborn, came into the world, the first thing that Debbie said was, “Let’s have another one”. I was amazed at her, and also thought back on Jesus’ words regarding birth.
John 16:21 “A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.” My wife had a very scriptural post-delivery attitude!
Jesus also spoke about life coming forth from death…“unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. “ (John 12:24)
Life comes forth from death. Birth comes forth through pain. Though the process is painful, the result is cherished.
I knew my friend before compassion was birthed in him. We weren’t friends then, only acquaintances. That’s just how things were. It was a season of life for him that didn’t yet include me.
As death began working in his life, my interaction with him increased. I saw him frequently. We spent many hours talking. As the weeks and months passed, I began to see things dying in him, such as self assurance, will power, and self determination. He had plenty to be angry about. Many might say he had a right to feel as he did, and that his lifestyle choices were understandable. We both knew that there was something more important for him. He began to surrender to Jesus more and more.
His focus shifted from others and self to Jesus. Wrongs done against him were being increasingly set aside. That was the death of a demand for justice. Self reliance was being set aside. That was the death of pride.
As death continued to work in his life, life was being born into him. Compassion appeared and caught him off guard. Love came and surprised him. Emotions and feelings appeared that had never been experienced.
It is an difficult thing to see a man die to himself, but it is awesome thing to see a man discover agape love.
I cried when my children were born. I have cried watching the birth of compassion in this man’s life. Others have cried as well. He and we have cried because of the painful process. How wonderful it is to now cry because of the joy.
