“I Can’t Handle It”

By pastorbillwalden

I spoke with a dear saint of God recently who is going through a very difficult time in life.  This person has been very much wronged as of late, and negative things seem to be piling up one after another.  

In the course of our conversation, this person said a couple of things that I often hear.

“I don’t know how much more I can take”.  “I’m not handling this well”.

How we view the “handling” of our problems is very interesting to me, and I think we (Christians) get it wrong a lot.

I think we often feel that we aren’t handling things well for the following reasons:
1. We are very emotional, experiencing feelings of anger, resentment, revenge, sadness, despair.
2. We resent that we feel such emotions.
3. On occasions, we say or do things that we regret.
4. We find ourselves complaining to God or to others.
5. We are not ourselves. We are easily distracted, struggle to read our Bibles, and can’t concentrate in prayer. We say things like, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me”.
6. We are tempted to stay away from church or fellowship, because our emotions are depleted, and we can’t stand to talk to one more person.
7. Overall, as Christians, we expect that we ought to be much more in control of our emotions, and not feeling so out of control.

While those concerns are valid to some degree, I think we often are very hard on ourselves when dealing with wrongs done against us. Certainly, we should not sin, seek revenge, or start abusing substances to cover our pain.

But I was able to encourage this dear saint in the following ways:
1. They hadn’t been acting out vengefully.
2. They were there with me, seeking Biblical and godly counsel, and prayer.
3. They were hoping for the best, and seeking to maintain a godly witness.
4. They weren’t resorting to substance abuse to lessen the emotional pain.

I think this topic of dealing with painful situations is very important, because often our pain is compounded by a wrong consideration of how we are responding to the trial we are in. It’s not a lack of awareness of what we should do right, but rather, a lack of awareness of what we are doing right.

We can be overly hard on ourselves, and the Accuser Of The Brethren is all too happy to point his sulfurous finger at us in condemnation, thus increasing our sorrow and making the way of victory seem impossible.

God knows that we are not made of steel. In fact, He says, we are made of dust.
Psalm 1-3:13, 14
As a father pities his children, So the Lord pities those who fear Him. 14 For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.

Dear Christian, we are not all we should be, but we are much more than we used to be.

If you are discouraged that you are not responding to your trial “as a Christian should”, then praise God.

You ARE a Christian, and an Unbeliever cares not about such things.
You ARE a Christian, and you care about doing things God’s way.
You ARE a Christian, and you hold yourself to a higher standard than those without God.
You ARE a Christian, and the Spirit in you that causes you to care about “handling things right” is the same Spirit that will help you grow, so that you can increasingly “handle things right”.

More soon…

One Response so far

What if we are under constant wrongful attack. All the blame is heaped on the innocent one. Close friends and even some family members witness this and agree. Constant criticism. It is not justified not fair not even true , yet I am still to blame. What is it that the Lord is trying to teach me here? Why I am the one that is being persecuted ? Yes , it is too much at times, and makes me not want to be here. I never ask God why… I do not feel I have the right to.. So can someone please tell me why? what is the lesson I am to be learning? why am I alone and always being singled out, even by the Godly. I can’t handle it anymore!

Leave a comment