Tribal Or Fraternal?

By pastorbillwalden

Words are interesting things. When I was a kid, we used to drive across country to visit my dad’s family in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. At midday, they used to tell us that “dinner” was ready. At the end of the day, there was this meal called “supper”. “Lunch” didn’t exist.

We didn’t talk like that in Yorba Linda, CA, where I grew up, and I was very confused about all this. Somehow, it all worked out though, and I don’t remember missing any meals.

That example of similar/dissimilar words brings up another interesting pair of words: tribal and fraternal. Pastor Tim Brown of Calvary Chapel, Fremont, CA lit and stoked me on this one. He used a slightly different combination of words, but what I came up with was this: are you tribal or fraternal?

The words seem to be very similar, but increasingly are meaning very different things to me. Allow me to offer some definitions.

Both words talk about togetherness, likeness, and identity, but there are distinctions. In its purest form, “fraternal” speaks of a brotherly connection based upon common parentage, while “tribal” is a connection that can be based upon other things, such as common interests, mutual admiration, or what can be gained through united efforts.

Fraternal seems deeper, higher, more permanent. Tribal seems convenient and optional. How we practice these ideas is what I want to talk about.

The Bible teaches that all Christians are “brothers” with one another. We have the same Heavenly Father, and we are born again into the same heavenly family. Through faith, we are absolutely linked together in Christ. Let’s call that the “fraternal” connection.

Within the Body of Christ, we have our favorite people. I don’t think that it is a bad thing to have some favorite people. People that you genuinely enjoy, whom you prefer to spend more time with. Special friends and colleagues in the best sense. You are linked to them by a deep passion for missions, evangelism, ministry opportunities, or other very respectable aspects of the Christian life. So far, so good.

The problem, as I see it, is when we only want to spend time with our favorite people, and we end up ignoring other parts of the Body of Christ that we should be spending some time with. That is what I would calling being “tribal”. Tribal is always mutually beneficial. Fraternal isn’t always so pleasing on the first few layers of the emotional/mental/spiritual grid. Tribal is easy. Fraternal often calls for the cross.

What are some other examples of this? We can be tribal by following a certain movement within the Body of Christ. Then, within a movement, we have our favorite styles of ministry, and we associate only with those folks. It can go even further. Within a style of a movement, we will have our favorite pastors, and so we identify ourselves with them. But then going even further, we have that one favorite pastor whose personality and style just thrills us. We hang on that man’s every word, and really don’t even care much for those who are not as illumined as us.

The Apostle Paul encountered this…you remember…“I am of Paul, I am of Apollos, I am of Cephas”.

Tribal almost always guarantees immediate gratification. Fraternal might cost you a bit more, and you might walk away not being “blessed” by the encounter. Tribal is easier…you are with people like yourself. Fraternal is a little more difficult…you are with other sons of the Father, and they may not be like you. You might not even like them. I have heard that happens with brothers sometimes.

I believe that it is extremely easy to justify being tribal, even to the point of never being fraternal. We can claim that we have a mission to accomplish (we do), and we only have limited time to spend with our co-laborers (also true). We can claim we “just don’t feel led” to spend time with those “other brothers”. It can all be dressed up very nicely.

I think in the end, we as Christians can glorify the tribal mentality and minimize the fraternal mentality. If we do that, I believe that we are choosing the lesser over the greater.

For me, recognizing and embracing the brotherhood of believers is becoming more important than spending all my time with Christians who are just a little bit different than me. This idea is helping me embrace a wider spectrum of Christians. They are also the sons and daughters of God. I need to spend some time with more of the family of Jesus Christ, not just those of my tribe.

John 17:23 I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.