Thoughts on “Fixing People”

By pastorbillwalden

Christians have unique struggles when it comes to dealing with people. 

By God’s grace, we have been granted insights into wonderful truths about God.  His indwelling Spirit helps us discern truth from error.  His Word gives us wisdom beyond our natural instincts.  His Presence within us brings tremendous healing.

We then encounter people who have problems, and we are rightfully eager to share the truths of God with these people that we care about (or ought to care about).

Often times, we can inadvertently be so eager to help these people “do better”, “be healed”, “see the light”, etc., that we rush ahead to the goal of what must feel like to some, “fixing a problem”, instead of  “loving a person”.

I fall into this mentality at times.  I don’t mean to, it’s just that I am “in a hurry”, and I need to quickly “dispense the medicine” and move on to whatever is next. I don’t mean to be that way, but sometimes I am.

Now the Holy Spirit blows like the wind (John 3:8), and no two situations are ever exactly the same, but consider this as you may be trying to help people…

We need to genuinely love them, listen to them, and not be in a hurry to “fix them”.

Unbelievers are often quick to love folks without trying to fix them, or at least that has been my experience.  I am sometimes amazed at hearing how unbelievers spend countless hours helping friends, loving kids, doing good deeds, etc.  It is no wonder that many folks are attracted to those who show such acts of love with no strings attached.

Christians know that man’s greatest need is a relationship with Jesus.  All the good deeds in the world will never replace salvation through Jesus Christ.

I am not suggesting that we love people so that we can “earn the right” to speak into their lives.

I am suggesting that we love them because Jesus loves them.  Period.

Just some thoughts….

9 Responses so far

Pastor Bill:

Very well said. I fall into the same tendency. Very easily, as a matter of fact.

Your line: “…we rush ahead to the goal of what must feel like to some, “fixing a problem”, instead of “loving a person” is priceless.

I’ve been in pain and know what it feels like to have both approaches come at me. I’ve also given enough pain by doing the “fixing a problem” deal.

Gracias for the reminder.

Bill — right on. I’m so like that sometimes! Then when somebody does it to me I get all bent out of shape. LOL. Good word.

I sometimes wonder when you post these if you have been reading my journal. You seem to always hit the mark as to where I’m at.

Bill-Thanks for the reminder. I too have this problem or tendency. My Spiritual Director and Confessor says I do at least. Love is the answer, what was the question? Love God and one another, as ourself. That is enough. Healing, now that is for God in Christ Jesus, who IS the Great Physician. Keep up the good sends

I’ve experienced wrong diagnoses from doctors and from believers, both of which were “absolutely sure” of what is wrong, neither of which cared to actually listen for clarification. I still go to doctors, but with a general distrust in their expertise. The “I love you, bro” attitude of a Mr. Fix-It believer does not make one trustworthy. I’ve actually had a pastor say to me, “You can trust me- I’ve got a P.H.D.!” That attitude is major church repellent to those who are sick of being analyzed haphazardly and simply want to be heard and pointed to Jesus. It’s sad because I know that in me there is pride that would try to emulate the Great Physician, yet in our desire to pick out the wishbone of our neighbor in our own spiritual game of Operation we leave people paralyzed, buzzing, with a red light flashing in the middle of their face. Won’t we ever learn?! Good reminder- it starts with me.

This devotional is very elegantly and simply expressed – and is a wonderful reminder of what being a Christian is and what it isn’t.

As we follow Jesus, He will use us to be His ‘hands and feet’ – He’s given us His Holy Spirit –

Jesus had great compassion for people in need –

It’s so true, we all can make rash judgments of where others are at and what they need based upon our own experiences and knowedge – expecially when we are in a hurry to ‘fix’ them and rush ahead of God – “In the Name of Jesus!”.

When we’ve had the experience of someone we’ve loved and trusted make wrong, hurtful judgments against us – we then have the opportunity to learn more of the compassion of Christ through this ‘life-lesson’ that “He allowed” in our life, so that in turn, we will be more careful when trying to help others, since we really do want them to be better and stronger in their faith.

The last thing we want to do is to contribute to their getting more discouraged and turning away from Christ, thus making things much worse for them.

God will use us to speak into their lives as we walk along side of them and let them tell us their story, and let them ask for help according to how they see their own needs.

I really believe the best thing we can do to help others so that God can ‘fix’ the problems they are experiencing, is to pray with them according to God’s word and in the power of His Holy Spirit, so that God can do the work in the most perfect way He knows is best for them – according to His plan and purposes for this time in their lives.

God is so good! He will do amazing things!

We learn compassion for others by suffering what they’ve suffered – Jesus promised us suffering – but we can interfer with what God’s doing in the lives if those we try to ‘fix’ if we try to ‘make it better’ for them – when all along God has allowed the suffering in their lives to take them “through” firey trials that He may do a purifying work in their hearts and lives which will result in a deeper and closer walk with God by knowing and experiencing His love more intimately through their sufferings.

Thank you, Pastor Bill – we’re all learning and growing –

depending on the circumstances, some things simply can’t be “fixed”, at least according to the standards we might be imposing upon the situation.

i’ve been going through something, recently, that can’t be fixed. it can only be gotten through, and i hafta say that my non-christian friends have been, in many instances, far more comforting to me because they were willing to admit they didn’t know what to do. they were courageous enough to say, “i don’t know what to do to make this better, but i’m just going to have a seat right here in the middle of this mess and be with you, to cry with you.” that was believable to me. that, i understood.

on the other hand, my christian friends, more often than not, appeared to me rather emotionless, sorely lacking in empathy, tossing, instead, heaps of Scripture into my lap, as if they’d gone to their garage and grabbed every tool in the box and said, here, see what you can do with this.

now, i know God’s word doesn’t ever return void so when someone’s fix-all is to just toss a boat-load of scripture into your grieving lap, something good will eventually come of it, but i hafta say, my Christian friends who thought that was what i needed were sadly mistaken.

When I was going through divorce and I was a new Christian I had a dear friend who took me under his wing and under his roof on occasion. Once when I was visiting him and very anxious, his sweet wife asked if I was hungry and proceeded to prepare a place at the table and serve me dinner. She brought out her homemade preserves and bread, cooked a little pasta with butter and parmesan and set some special olives in front of me. She then put her hands on my head, said a little prayer and set down and conversed with me. Of all the fine advice I got from professional counselors, pastors and inspired laymen, this simple act of service did more to restore my belief in my value than anything. I believe inspired acts of service express the love of God more than any spoken word.

Loren, you said that a lot better than i did. i sounded like a grump. thanks.

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