On a humorous and slightly sarcastic note, someone wrote, “Just because you have an internet connection doesn’t mean that you have anything important to say”. I suppose “important” is in the mind of the writer, and not always the reader. I’ll leave that statement alone.
I find myself in a season of life where the words are not coming easily or clearly. There are different kinds of concerns on different fronts. There is instability from the human perspective. I am wondering about the future of certain people and not sure what to think or say.
I am purposely not going into details to try to explain things, because sometimes the words just don’t come. I am learning not to be bothered by that. If you know me, you may know some of what I am talking about, but I am not really looking for people to understand me. Please don’t feel that you need to respond.
It is a strange sensation for us humans to feel things very deeply, but not be able to clearly understand those feelings, or be able to communicate them. If we are fortunate enough to gain some clarity of thought, we then have the challenge of trying to express clearly what we are thinking, and then having the right person to share those thoughts with.
When we are struggling with the issues of life, though there can be people that are sympathetic, some dear people actually make life a bit harder for us. They try too hard to fix things. They give off the cuff advice without thinking. They offer up a quick “prayer of faith” that is more confusing than healing. We can appreciate such intentions, but sometimes we find that we avoid such help.
Others are better listeners, and have a better bedside manner. It’s not they that love us more or less, though that might be true. There is certain chemistry between people regarding relationships, and some relationships have chemistry that is better than others. There is no inherent fault or success in such situations. It just is what it is. I am not able to adequately comfort every person I know. The reverse is also true. That is not a bad thing. It’s just life.
As a follower of Jesus, I know that God understands me perfectly. He is omniscient, and knows all things. I don’t think he is bothered by my confusion, or lack of clarity in thinking. He is on my side.
A verse that has become increasingly precious to me is Proverbs 14:10. It says, “The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy”.
There are certain struggles, confusing thoughts, uncertainties and insecurities that are uniquely mine. The microscopic details belong to me, and to no one else. The same is true for my joys. They are uniquely mine, and I should not expect anyone to understand 100% of the things that bring me joy.
Of course my wife and loved ones share much of my sorrow and joy, but they can never share all of it. It is uniquely mine.
But what of those times when the words don’t come? What of those times when the emotions are going full speed, but the mind is stuck in park? What do we do when we can’t explain how we feel, because the words don’t come? And the words don’t come because the thoughts are jumbled?
As a follower of Jesus, I am told that the Spirit of God indwells me. I am told that Jesus is a “high priest” who understands me perfectly, and who prays for me. I am told that God has all understanding, and that He is for me, and not against me.
A favorite verse of many followers of Jesus is Psalm 46:10, which says, “Be still, and know that I am God”.
I have found that it is difficult to be still when my emotions are running at full speed, but there is no human outlet. As a follower of Jesus, I know that I always have an outlet with God, but my first and natural inclination is to understand every situation, be able to explain it, and then find the right audience and support team to help me get through it.
Sometimes the thoughts are jumbled, the words don’t come, and an appropriate audience isn’t to be found.
I am learning that silence with man is often a good thing. I never need be silent with God, but silence with man is often an advantage, and sharing every thought with people is not as needed as we think.
And so I will end here. I will remember that God is for me and not against me. I will remember that he is the God of all comfort. I will remember that he is for me and not against me. I will remember that even when I don’t know what to pray, that God’s Spirit makes intercession for me.
I will remember that sometimes the best communication doesn’t depend on words.