I stepped out under the full moon again tonight. That same moon illuminated the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus prayed so many years ago. It lit the dark paths where Judas and the Temple guards came to arrest Jesus. It shined down upon the fire where Peter swore three times that he never knew Jesus. It guided the Roman soldiers as they led Jesus from Pilate to Herod, and then back to Pilate again.
The next night it shined brightly again, as Jesus’ followers were afraid for their own lives, and began to go into hiding. They were dumbfounded and shocked at Jesus having been killed and laid in a tomb. They saw Him die, and their hopes came to a brutal end.
The moonlight probably still shined that resurrection morning, as Mary and the others went to the tomb of Jesus to anoint His body for a proper burial. There at the tomb, as the moonlight waned and as the sun began to rise, He appeared to them, and the world change began.
I am part of that world change. I am a follower of Jesus. I believe that He was raised from the dead, and that He is alive. Either I am correct, or I am deceived. I don’t think I am crazy. I do believe He lives, and that He has dwelt within me since I surrendered to Him 38 years ago.
I departed from Him for 6 years, but He never departed from me. I have walked with Jesus for 30 years this year. I cannot shake Him, nor do I want to.
I succeed and fail. I am hopeful and hopeless. I understand and am confused. I have holy desires, and unholy ones. I am a redeemed soul in an unredeemed body. The internal spiritual war is constant, but it has gotten better every year, every month.
I cannot shake Him. I cannot disregard Him. I cannot convince myself that He is not there, not that I try. He is alive, and He lives in me, my wife, and many of my loved ones and friends.
I expect to see Him face to face one day. It will be awesome and fearful, but it will be good. I will finally be home.
Words of thanksgiving flow from my mouth on a daily basis. “Thank you for your love, your mercy, and your grace. Thank you for your provision, kindness, patience, faithfulness. Thank you for my wife, my kids, my parents, my friends, my church, and for this life you have given me”.
The words come like my breath. I often don’t even plan on saying them, but they have become to me part of the fabric of my life. They are not vain repetition, or a mantra. They just flow. They are real, because He is real. It has become like breathing.
I cannot shake Him, not that I want to. I cannot step out under that moon and not think of Him, especially at this time of year. I cannot help but be amazed that I am a part of this grand plan for humanity. I cannot help but be thankful.
I have not captured Him, but he has captured me.
I do not make Him promises. I have never been a promise maker to Him. I don’t think He asks me to promise Him anything. He just asks me to keep trying and keep believing. We talk, and somehow, I know He hears me, and somehow, I believe that He speaks back to me in the secret recesses of my soul.
I am a Christian. I am a Christ follower. I want no other name, title, or affiliation.
I invite you to consider Jesus. The church has failed since the beginning, but Jesus doesn’t fail. Jesus takes up residence within people that fail, and He brings great change. He forgives, and renews. I invite you to take an honest look at Jesus. I may be right, or I may be wrong, but I believe that He is coming back. I look forward to that day. I pray that you will also.
I expect that as long as God gives me life on Earth, I will be enamored and intrigued at that same full moon. It is something special that He shares with me. I cannot help but be moved as I remember all He has done for me.
May God bless you this Easter season. May you meet Jesus.