Things I Want To Say To You

By pastorbillwalden

There is so much I want to tell you, and hear from you, but… 

It’s difficult.

I don’t know if I will drive you away, make you mad, make you sad, or be misunderstood. There are those who would tell me that my feelings don’t matter, and that the truth must be told, whatever the cost.  Yeah, I understand that…tell that to my heart.

I am telling the truth right now.  I worry about you…I wonder about you…I pray for you…I ache for you. Yeah, I do.

There are a thousand million “truths” out there in the world, and I very humbly but very firmly believe I have found “the” truth.  I believe in Jesus.

I know that you say you do too, but I wonder if you really do.  Who am I to judge, you ask.  You can consider me a busy body, a self righteous snob, or a loving friend…that’s up to you. No, I don’t know your heart, but Jesus said that “from the treasures of the heart, the mouth speaks”, and I hear you saying and see you doing things that cause me concern. (Matthew 12:34)

OK…here I go…

You give a nod to Jesus, but an embrace to _________, and I do mean an embrace.

Your facebook posts use language that I can’t imagine Jesus saying.  Repeatedly.  Like everyday.  It’s there on the world wide web.  I’m not a prude or a choirboy…I can handle spicy language…but from the treasures of the heart, the mouth speaks.  Just sayin’.

I see you in church once every few months.  I’m always glad when I do…honestly, but our conversation goes quickly to your latest venture, your latest love, your latest plan, your latest fun thing.  We always talk about temporal things.  🙁

Sometimes I see you when he bottom drops out.  I’m glad that you call, really, I am…but it doesn’t have to be that way.

You’ve been a Christian for a number of years…but Jesus seems like a stranger to you.  He seems like an old friend that you used to know, like someone who is still on your phone list that you keep intending to call….tomorrow…or the next day…or next week.

I have experienced this concern with many others that I know and love.  I have watched as they seemed to move away into a peripheral place, and then slowly faded into a mist of busyness, tolerance, acceptance, and “the pursuit of happiness”.  The glow faded, and then it was gone.

So where do I start with you?  How do we have that conversation that I so desperately want to have?  How do I come across as not judging you?  When I run into you around town, I am glad to see you, but part of me is dying inside, because you seem to be dying, and you don’t even know it.  My smile will be sincere, but there is sorrow behind it.   Sorry if you see it…I can’t help it.

Sometimes I see you, but I avoid you.  I don’t want to stop and talk unless I can be somewhat cheerful and encouraging.  Maybe it is a weakness of mine, or maybe it is the better part of wisdom that I wait “until next time”.  I am sorrowful about what might be happening with you.

Jesus also was a “A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief”.  (Isaiah 53:3)

Sometimes you see me, and you duck around the corner.  I know that move…by experience. I am actually a bit more encouraged when you avoid me… I somehow think that you seeing me arouses a bit of appropriate conviction.  You don’t answer to me, that’s for sure, but if there is some Jesus in me, then it is Him you are avoiding.  It shows you still feel Him, and that part makes me glad.

And…………sometimes I am completely wrong.  Feelings do lie, that’s for sure.

Know that if I embrace you, that I mean it.  Know that if I say I have been praying for you, that I have.  Know that if I tell you to call me any time, that I am being sincere.  Call me any time.  If I can help, I will.

As I get older, I feel like a spiritual father to more and more people.

The Apostle John wrote, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth”.  (3 John:4)

I wholeheartedly agree with that statement.  My greatest joy is knowing that you are close to Jesus.

Love you…


3 Responses so far

Beautiful, Pastor… I truly appreciate your raw openness and honesty, no matter the cost.

Not sure it’s the Jesus they’re avoiding. Didn’t Jesus attract sinners? His presence didn’t make them run the other way…he brought very real conviction without any need to hide. Perhaps people are hiding from you because they feel condemned?

Alicia, thanks….blessings.

You have a good point. I pray to not be a condemning man, although sometimes I am. other times people may think that when it isn’t true. I pray to be like Jesus.

Sinners of one variety were attracted to Jesus, you have that right. Those who were the outcasts, and hopeless. They were the untouchables of the world, and they enjoyed the love and fellowship of Jesus.

There was another type of sinners that were not attracted to Jesus: the self-righteous. He didn’t attract them, but His presence made them angry and murderous. Self righteous people were not and are not attracted to Jesus. The religious leaders of the day hated Him, and finally had Him killed.

By God’s grace, may we be like Him, and though people be convicted of their sins, may they not feel condemned by any of us.

Thanks for your thoughts.

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