Sexual Sin: Out Of Control?

By pastorbillwalden

First of all, let me apologize for writing an article on an intense topic (sexual addiction), and then not visiting my own blog much to follow the conversation. In fact, I have yet to thoroughly read all the comments from the previous thread. Sorry about that. I intend to read them. As of this writing, I still don’t have internet at our new house. That should change in the next few days. Oh, the pain of it all.

I want to share a few more thoughts regarding sexual sin amongst Christians.

One of the comments I hear from men who are habitually looking at pornography is that “I can’t help it”, or, I am out of control”. Some would call that “addiction”. That was thoroughly discussed in the comments section in my previous article. However we want to label such habitual behavior is secondary to how we view the actual behavior.

I talked with one Christian man who described himself as “being out of control” regarding porn. I asked him if he was ever able to control his behavior, and not look at porn. For instance, if a thought came to him in church, or at a family gathering, or with his wife in the room with him, was he able to say “no”, and not look at porn? Was he always under the control of every thought that ever came to him regarding the desire to look at porn? Was it something that he always followed through with, regardless of location or present company? Was he ever able to deny his desires because of a fear of getting caught, or of his actions being obvious?

His response was something like this: “No, I don’t always follow through with it. I do say “no” sometimes.”

My response was, “Then you are not ‘out of control’. You can say ‘no’, and indeed, you often do say ‘no’. You are NOT out of control”.

He suddenly realized that that was indeed true. He wasn’t out of control. He could deny himself because of location and present company, or because of the likelihood of getting caught.

Some Christians struggle with a predisposition towards sexual sin. The lust of the flesh. Others struggle with the lust of the eyes (possessions), or the pride of life (power). I believe that we all have particular dispositions that we struggle with. I think we are all inclined to certain sins, and less drawn to other sins. That is my professional and barely qualified opinion.

We cannot control what thoughts or temptations come into our minds, but we are called to take every thought captive that exalts itself against the knowledge of Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:4, 5 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…

I believe that when people say, “I am out of control”, that they mean to say that they can’t stop the thoughts that continually enter their minds. I think that some believe that they are out of control because of the onslaught of tempting thoughts that invade their thinking.

The Bible teaches that our spiritual battle takes place in our minds. One way that we can see tempting thoughts decrease is by filling our minds with the things of God, but we cannot prevent tempting thoughts from entering our minds. When they do enter our minds, we need to shift our thinking, and not dwell on tempting thoughts. Instead, we need to pray, resist the temptation, and remember the Scriptures.

If we choose to dwell on tempting thoughts, we put ourselves in the place of increased temptation, and that will usually result in sin.

James 1:13-15 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

This article is another short burst of thought. If you are a Christian who feels that you are “out of control”, or “addicted” to sexual sin, then consider the fact that you sometimes do not indulge yourself. Your reason may not be the most noble or spiritual reason, but you do often deny yourself. That would indicate to me that you are NOT out of control.

For the Christian, sexual sin is a choice that we deny or give in to. I realize that as with any sin, we can “feel” out of control, but we aren’t. We might be strongly predisposed to such sin. We might be growing bolder in it. We might be taking more risks. But we are not out of control of we have the Spirit of God in us.

There is much more to say, but we’ll save it for later. Until then, if you are a Christian, take these verses to heart. These verses are the truth about you, regardless of how you feel.

Romans 6:16-19 Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? 17But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. 18And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. 19I speak in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness.