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for June, 2009.
By pastorbillwalden
This little story is not directed towards any one church, but is a compilation of the stories of many people I have talked to and read about. May we love His Body, the Church.
Talk To The Hand
“Talk to the hand”. Hand liked the sound of that.
The phrase described Hand as a “go to” guy; the guy people would ask to help them get things done. Hand was a problem solver. Hand was selfless. Hand was happy to help Body with any need. He liked being a “go to” guy. If there was a need, Body would direct others to Hand. Hand thought the phrase had a good ring to it. “Talk To The Hand”. It was a compliment.
But as time passed, the phrase took on a new meaning for Hand. Hand had somewhere heard the phrase used in a negative way. When someone didn’t want to discuss something, he would hold up his hand and say, “talk to the hand”, meaning that the discussion had ended. For Hand, that eventually became the meaning of the phrase in his life.
Hand had been with Body since the beginning. He had served Body well. Because of Hand’s efforts, Body had grown and become strong. Maybe a little too strong, Hand thought. Hand had never imagined that he would ever separate from Body, but eventually he saw no other option. Body had become sick and dangerous.
It wasn’t that Hand had never talked about the problems that Body was having, but some very painful experiences had brought Hand to this point in life. Over time and much agonizing, Hand had made up his mind to separate from Body.
He didn’t want to talk about it. He was sick of talking about it. It hurt too much to talk about it. He saw no other option. After many words, prayers, and tears, Hand separated from Body. Hand was devastated, but such was life. Some didn’t understand. Others understood far too well.
In the beginning, the relationship between Hand and Mouth had been good. He enjoyed being Hand, and was happy to fulfill his part in helping Mouth with his ministry.
But things changed as time passed. Hand noticed that as Body grew, Mouth was saying a lot of pompous things, and was bossing people around horribly. As Hand objected to Mouth’s words and actions, Mouth insinuated that Body needed Mouth, but that Mouth didn’t need Body, or Hand, for that matter.
Hand also noticed that others were discussing Mouth. He hated hearing these guarded conversations. Body was dividing. Hand could see it.
Ear was too eager to hear gossip and pass it on. Mouth used the pulpit to remind Body that Mouth was in control. Mouth had forgotten that Body belonged to Head, and that Head was the real leader of Body. Mouth was getting mouthier. Foot got nervous, and left. Ear was too eager to hear gossip. Heart got hardened, and was unforgiving.
And everyone was asking, “Where is Head?”
All of this happened as Hand continued to serve, struggling with how to rectify the problems with Body. Hand loved Body, but he was torn over what he saw and felt. Hand had trusted Mouth for years, but he was now disillusioned.
Hand watched Body lose members. He felt lost in the midst of this dying Body. Hand tried to talk to Mouth, but Mouth felt threatened, and turned on Hand. Hand and his family were seen as the enemy of Mouth. Mouth made sure that Body knew Hand was a troublemaker.
Finally, Hand and his family left Body. Body suffered, because individuals were suffering. Like many of his fellow members, Hand wondered why Head seemed absent. Didn’t Head love Body? Where was He?
Invisibly and seemingly absent, Head suffered even more.
Fast forward some years.
Head proved Himself to be the faithful leader of Body. Head removed Mouth and some others, and brought NewMouth to speak His words. Members began to return to the blessings of Body.
Slowly, hope returned to Body. NewMouth spoke of grace, and others began to speak of grace too. Foot returned, Ear listened with love, and Heart became soft again.
Head was healing Body.
As Body healed, people began to ask about Hand. They missed him. Hand had been such an integral part of Body. Where was Hand? Had anybody seen him? Had anybody heard from him?
Questions became discussions, and discussions were finally recognized as promptings from Head.
Head was prompting Body to reach out to Hand.
“Someone needs to talk to Hand.” Prayers began to go up for Hand.
Spirit began to move, and Hand started feeling something inside.
By pastorbillwalden
One aspect of the modern media that I believe to be dangerous is the sound bite.
Regarding sound bites, Wikipedia tells us:
In film and broadcasting, a sound bite is a very short piece of footage taken from a longer speech or an interview in which someone with authority or the average “man on the street” says something which is considered by those who edit the speech or interview to be the most important point. As the context of what is being said is missing, the insertion of sound bites into news broadcasts or documentaries is open to manipulation and thus requires a very high degree of journalistic ethics. Politicians of the new generation are carefully coached by their spin doctors to produce on-demand sound bites which are clear and to the point.
Sound bites are designed to give us a very quick view of something, and then have us make up our mind based upon that very limited information. As Wikipedia rightly says, the sound bite is open to manipulation and must be presented with a high degree of ethics.
We like sound bites because they give us a little information that we don’t have to work hard to attain. They make life easy, but in the end, they can make us shallow.
Avoiding the sound bite mentality must be practiced when speaking of Churchianity (problems in the church) , and then also when we speak about the “Church” the way Jesus designed it to be.
Part of the problem of Churchianity is that leadership sometimes gives “sound bite” instructions to their congregations. People are told what to believe, how to live, and who to like, love or avoid. When questioned “why” such things are so, leadership sometimes responds with “sound bite” answers which can be intimidating, and don’t help the congregant understand why such things are true or supposedly true. Those questioning are made to feel stupid for even asking “why”.
Often, the end result of “soundbitism” is that Christians don’t have a deep understanding of why they believe what they believe. They simply parrot what the leadership told them, and believe what they believe because they were told to. They become more and more a part of a Churchianity environment. That was never Jesus’ plan.
If church leadership isn’t leading well, questions and criticisms should arise. When church leadership uses a sound bite methodology for answering valid questions and criticisms, the questioners are left with nothing. They are not treated as though their concerns are valid, and they they are ignored as the leader goes on to the next willing listener. These questioners are then ushered out the door.
When congregants are treated that way, they will often (and sometimes very rightly) leave that church. Or they may leave The Church, vowing to never be a part of “organized religion” ever again. I don’t think that second option is the right thing to do.
Church leaders, congregants, and ex/former congregants that claim to follow Jesus all need to be able to say why they believe what they believe, and support that belief system from God’s Word. Otherwise, anything goes.
Pastors who respond to questions with “Because I said so”, are, in my opinion, VERY wrong for doing that. That’s a sound bite. Church attenders who recite a creed or system for Christian living are not allowed to say, in my opinion, “I believe thus and so because the pastor said so”. Ex and former congregants who still follow Jesus but will not commit to SOME kind of Christian gathering cannot simply say, “Because that’s how I feel about it”.
These are all examples of “sound bites”. They are not clear explanations of the whole story, and they are designed to produce a desired result.
My hope in writing these articles is that all Christians will have a high view of Jesus’ Church. We cannot reduce His church down to sound bite discussions. Being in His church requires thought and commitment.
I am currently teaching a topical series on the Church. The notes can be found in the Sermon Notes link on this blogsite, under Topical Studies.
In brief, what we have studied so far:
1. The Church is built on Jesus. It is His creation. He died to establish it. (Matthew 16)
2. The Church presently, and forever will, display the manifold wisdom of God to both angels and demons (Ephesians 3)
3. When angels want to understand God’s incredible work of salvation, they look at the Church. (1 Peter 1)
May every Christian have a high and respectful view of Jesus’ Church, which is His Body, His Bride. In spite of the many wrongs done by both leaders and congregants, may none of us treat His church with any kind of “sound bite” attitude.
Jesus said that He would build His Church, and that the gates of Hell would not prevail against it. Regardless of our experiences, that is true. May we experience the truth of His words.
Blessings…
By pastorbillwalden
I live in Napa, CA, and I pastor here. We moved to Napa in 1991 and started the church that is called Cornerstone Ministries, which is a Calvary Chapel affiliate church.
When we moved to Napa, we entered into the wake of what was a big implosion of a Calvary Chapel. The church was at one time very large and influential. God used that church in a big way for many people. The attendance was over 1200, and that is significant for a city that at the time had 46,000 people. By the time we moved to Napa, that church numbered in the dozens.
I am not writing to try to resolve the issues of the past, or impugn anyone. I love and respect folks on both sides of the aisle of that event. We ought to be thankful for the good that did come forth from that church body. Regarding the negative aspects of what happened, it’s in the past, and needs to stay there, except for what we can learn from it.
I do write because the fallout affected me as a pastor, and in particular, as a Calvary Chapel pastor. It still does to this day. I have talked to many Christians who have been hurt by Churchianity and church problems. I naively moved to Napa thinking that all those displaced folks, or at least most of them, would be streaming into our new church. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
When we first started the church, a group of men met with me in our home. We talked about different philosophies of church ministry. One of the questions some of them asked me was this: “What guarantee will you give us that the same thing won’t happen with this new church?”
I didn’t have to think about the answer at all. I responded to them, “I give you no guarantee that what happened before won’t happen again.”
I am and always have been every bit a much of a son of Adam as the next guy. I am capable of backsliding, sinning, and being a carnal man. Only by God’s grace and my surrender to His Spirit, can I be kept from those things. Include in that list the fear of God.
I reminded them that they were capable of all those same things too. I wouldn’t demand a guarantee from them, and I asked them to not demand a guarantee from me. I had “risked” a lot to move to Napa. It seemed only fair that they would take a chance on me. If the church fell apart, I would be pushing a lawn mower, and they would continue on with life as they knew it. (By the way, I did push a lawn mower for about three years as the church SLOWLY grew).
I invited those men to be a part of what I believed God was doing. I invited them to grow in relationship with me, and I with them, and with us as a group. Some of them accepted the invitation, and others declined.
I didn’t understand it then, but I have grown in my understanding regarding their line of questioning. Some of them were very hurt, and they didn’t want to be hurt again. I can’t blame them for that. None of us can. At least, none of us should.
I don’t think that many of the people from that original church ever made it into Cornerstone in any kind of permanent fashion. Some of them did, and are in ministry and even on staff. Others filtered into other churches with different forms of church governments. I am sure that many of them were looking for a way to “do church safely”. Sadly, others have never made it back to church, and some seem to have turned away from Jesus.
I do not write about Churchianity and church problems as a victim, but as a very close observer. I have heard the stories, seen the responses, and been very close to the action. I have experienced the responses and backlash of those hurt by Churchianity. I have watched as some have taken years to recover and return to church. Others recovered more quickly, and others are still outside the church walls.
Some of them are genuinely struggling with hurt. Others have probably used past events as a reason to indulge their anger. Only God knows.
May this post serve to provide a bit of my background as I still hope to write regarding Churchianity, church abuses, and how Christians are instructed to respond to such things.
By pastorbillwalden
By God’s grace, this will be the first of a few posts regarding the problems related to Churchianity. Many voices have been sounding for a while now. I hope to be of some help.
I, like many, have seen the abuses of Churchianity. I have been one who has had to endure Churchianity. And since I am a Christian, a pastor, and part of the Church Universal, I have probably contributed to the problem of Churchianity.
If I have hurt any of you readers in that way, I apologize. Without defending myself, it’s just the nature of this beast. (Sounds like a defense, doesn’t it?)
I have followed the discussions regarding Churchianity for a few years now, and I am concerned about various things.
I am concerned about the wrongs that are done in the name of Jesus. I am concerned about churches with whom I am affiliated, and churches beyond. I am concerned for the victims of Churchianity. I am concerned about those trying to correct the wrongs of Churchianity. I am concerned for the Bride of Christ and equally for the unbelievers that see the wrongs done in Jesus’ name. I am concerned about the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
Wikipedia tells us that…
“Churchianity” is a pejorative term used to describe practices of Christianity that are viewed as placing a larger emphasis on the habits of church life or the institutional traditions of a specific Christian denomination than on the teachings of Jesus.
It can also be used to describe churches across many denominations where the central focus has moved from Christ to the church. Hence the replacement of Christ with church in the word “Churchianity.”
I have also seen that…
Those who have been taught Churchianity have been greatly wronged. They have been taught the precepts of men instead of the truths of God. They have been told how to feel, what to think, and how to live. They have been denied the freedom to be themselves, to make their own discoveries, and find their own faith. They have been denied the right to succeed or fail.
They have been taught that “The Church” is what is important, and that the “Ministry” comes first. Everything else comes after that, including marriage, family, and personal time. They have been told how to live, but seen the exact opposite from their leaders. They have been expected to sacrifice everything for “the church” and as a result, sometimes families and marriages have been destroyed. They have been told to not question the “Lord’s anointed.”
They have been directed away from the fact that Jesus is what is most important. They have been lied to, taken advantage of, used up, and tossed out. Before they hit the curb, they were already being used as negative examples, and became the poster children of what backsliders and apostates looked like.
Upon their departure, their understandable anger has been pointed at to prove that “they were not of us”. They have often ended up broken, hopeless, bitter, and even hateful. All of that happens in the name of Christianity, via Churchianity. All of that and much more.
Those who witness such things, and those who endure such things, often seek to right the wrongs, and expose the sins. They try to share their stories, so that others do not suffer the same fate. They blog, they talk, and they try to speak to their abusers, often without even a courteous response. They write books, decrying the wrongs of Churchianity. They try to redefine and redesign Jesus’ Church.
And they ask, “Where is the justice”?
Fortunately, some of the victims of Churchianity seem to eventually recover in one way or another. Jesus is our Faithful Shepherd.
For some reasons, others never seem to recover on a number of levels. They become casualties of this ecclesiological mess.
There is an active discussion among many about how to right the wrongs of Churchianity, and bring people back to Christianity, which is centered on a relationship with Jesus, and should be about nothing but Jesus. Many web sites, blog sites, and books discuss the wrongs of Churchianity and the need for reform in organized religion.
I agree that there is much need for repentance within what is called Churchianity. Much of the Church needs to get back to Jesus. He stands at the door and knocks. (Revelation 3:20)
I agree about many of the problems found within Churchianity. My heart goes out to the victims of Churchianity. Jesus’ heart goes out to the victims of Churchianity.
This is a cyclical and ongoing problem that has been around since the Church’s inception. Some are just discovering the problems within Churchianity for the first time, and they are shocked. Others have seen these problems many times. I would say that I fall into the latter group.
There is great need for the re-discovery of the blessings of Jesus’ Church. Jesus created and designed His Church. It is built on Him, sustained by Him, is added to by Him, and is intended to bring Him glory, both in this world, and in the world to come.
I believe that He has a solution for each of us regarding the problems of Churchianity in our lives. I believe that Christians should confront the wrongdoings of Churchianity. I also believe that Jesus has a perfect way for each of us to do it.
Rather than re-hashing many of the thoughts that are in the blogosphere regarding the wrongs within organized religion, I hope to share some thoughts regarding the responses to those wrongs.
I know that this is serious stuff for many people. It ought to be. It’s His church we are talking about.
If we, as individuals, will look to Jesus, He can use us to bring Church closer to what it is supposed to be, instead of what it has become.
To be continued…with fear and trembling, and in faith.
By pastorbillwalden
Something happened to me back in October of 2007, but I have been reluctant and forgetful to write about it. Even now, I am not particularly moved to write, but it feels right, and will probably help someone, so here goes.
Last October, at a Men’s Retreat, I had, what I believe, was a glimpse through the veil that separates the world we live in and that invisible world all around us. I saw what I believed to be demons.
Let me say that though the Bible speaks much about the demonic world, and about Satan himself, there is much that the Bible doesn’t say. I want to qualify my experience by saying this: it was MY experience, and I have to interpret it through what the Bible says. The Bible doesn’t speak exhaustively on the subject of demons, so some of what I will share here is subjective, and nothing more than MY interpretation of what happened.
Men from five Calvary Chapels had gathered together to study the life of King David. On Saturday night, Pastor Ross Reinman of CC Sebastapol was teaching a great study on David’s sin with Bathsheba. His teaching included, of course, the topic of sexual sin, sexual lust, and the consequences of immorality. Ross had asked for the Saturday night slot, explaining that he had a lot to say. He spoke for quite some time, but it did not seem like a long time. The teaching was solid, and since the topic of sexual temptation is familiar to most men, he had our collective attention.
I was sitting in the front row, and Ross was in front of me and slightly to my left. The old wood frame chapel has windows along the sides, and through those windows, to my right, something caught my attention. I only saw it with my peripheral vision. At first I thought I had seen a bird, or a bat outside the window, fluttering around in the shadows. I turned my head, and there was nothing there.
Ross continued teaching, and I listening, and then there it was again. I was sure that I had seen something. It was more than just a shadow, but less than something material. I wondered if I was seeing a glare or a shadow on the window, caused by Ross’ movements and the lights shining on him, but the angle of the lights were all wrong for that. Besides, what I was seeing appeared to be very dark, even black, and not bright, like a reflection.
This happened about four or five times, and then suddenly it hit me. I believed that the Lord was showing me that the Enemy was just outside the chapel. Truly, a cold chill gripped me, my heart rate increased, and I became alarmed, even frightened. My hands got clammy, and my mouth turned dry. I know in my head that Jesus can defeat any demonic being or beings, but I am not ashamed to tell you that I was frightened. The Lord of Hosts is my Savior, but I had just gotten a fresh glimpse of the Enemy.
I was suddenly aware of evil, wickedness, and hatred. May I say, it was PERFECT hatred. It was the fullness of evil. I felt as though the entities just a few feet from me were like rabid, vicious dogs, being held back by a Hand more powerful than they. I felt that these entities were furious about the solid teaching that was being brought forth regarding sexual sin. That their work, their influence, and their grip on some of the men in the room was being broken by the candid and powerful teaching of God’s Word.
I believed that they wanted to stop the teaching, disrupt the meeting, and have the men moved away from what was going on, but they were being restrained. I felt the tension, I experienced the battle, and I was closer to the action than I wanted to be.
As soon as Ross finished, I stood to address the men. I was nervous, frightened, rattled, and stumbling over my words. I am not even sure that I made much sense, but the men could tell that something had just happened to me, and I was trying to share it with them.
I told them of my experience, and my interpretation of it. I wanted them to remember that we as men, are in a spiritual battle, and that we live in a world full of sexual temptation. I shared with them that I believed that God had allowed me to see what I saw in order to show me how intense the battle was in some of their lives. I believed that as Ross taught, God was wanting to break strongholds, and patterns of sin that some of them were bound up in.
I felt that the Enemy HATED what was going on in that chapel, and that he couldn’t resist fighting against the work of God. It was almost as though the demons accidentally manifested their presence for a moment, since they were so incensed at the teaching that was going on. They let themselves be seen, and I had seen them. What I saw alarmed me, and now I had to sound the trumpet to the other men.
I went home that Saturday night, needing to be at church the next day for Sunday service. It was a weird drive home. I was sure what I had seen, and to this day, still believe that I saw some of the hosts of darkness. I also believe that the Lord only pulled back one small corner of the veil that separates the visible and invisible worlds. That was fine with me. I had seen enough.
I have had similar experiences only two other times, both times being when we lived in Orange County. Neither of those times alarmed me like this experience did.
Very simply, the Lord reminded me that we are in a spiritual war, and the Enemy of our souls is a vicious, perfectly wicked foe. I was also reminded of the all encompassing, comprehensive grace and power of God. How many times has the Enemy tried to hurt me, stumble me, and even physically kill me? How many times has Jesus defended me, protected me, and rescued me? I’ll never know in this life, but I will most certainly know in the next.
The experience sobered me, made me hate sin more, and love Jesus more. How good it is to have Him as my Shepherd and Lord.
Brothers and sisters, we know it in our heads, but we also need to know it in our hearts, and act upon the words of Paul…take up the whole armor of God and stand.
Blessings…
Ephesians 6:10-13 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,[c] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
By pastorbillwalden
2007 was a year of new discoveries for me. I discovered that there was a lot I didn’t understand. The discoveries were not regarding book knowledge, but heart knowledge. The things of life. Let me explain.
In June, I became the “father of the bride”. I was blindsided, even though Sarah and Caleb were engaged for months. Caleb asked me well in advance to court Sarah, and then after many months, asked for her hand in marriage. I wasn’t surprised about what was going on, and I knew how this was going to turn out, but I was completely surprised about my reactions to it all.
As their wedding day approached, I was increasingly struck with thoughts and questions about how well I had done as a father. My only daughter was leaving “me”, and this was it. There wasn’t going to be any “do-overs”. I had raised her to follow Jesus, and now she had the nerve to actually follow Jesus, and to be joined to this young man. I was going to have to trust “this guy” to take care of my Princess. (Caleb is a great guy, you know what I mean) There was nothing to object to, and only joy to be felt. Why then, were my emotions swirling so?
Then in August, I became the “father of the groom”, as our son Chris took Melissa as his bride. Once again, personal reflection took over. What kind of man had I raised Chris to be? Had I been too busy with ministry responsibilities? Had I spent enough time with him? The questions charged at me relentlessly. Again, there would be no do-overs with Chris. He was 21, and becoming a husband. The emotions and self-examination rocked me.
This was it. The day of reckoning. The total sum of my worth as a dad was now going to measured. (I momentarily forgot about Jon. Sorry son!)
My kids were starting their own lives, just like they were supposed to. They were marrying great people. They loved Jesus. I should have been nothing but happy, right?
Well, very naturally, I finally got past the weddings. My emotions stabilized, and I started to settle down. Then it happened.
Chris and Melissa got a dog. His name is Tucker, and he is a beautiful Golden Lab.
I have had three dogs in my life, and they were all high maintenance animals. “Digger” was a Black Lab, and he, well…dug a lot. “Bear” was an 80 lb white Samoyed that ate shoes and was a tick magnet. “Brandy” was a cute little Siberian Husky who was half gopher, dug out under the fence a lot, and had lots of puppies as a result.
Me and dogs were not working well.
I finally swore off dogs, seeing no redeeming purpose for them. They were a waste of time, and the return for the effort put into them was not worth it. Then Tucker came along, and suddenly, I felt like a Grandpa. Where in the world did THAT come from? I had a grandpuppy. What in the world happened to me? I even let him in the house, and he sat around our dinner table. And I liked it! Talk about coming in from left field.
This last December 28 (my birthday), I awoke to a call informing me that my friend Roby Duke had died of a massive heart attack. I was stunned. My parents and sister are still alive, thank God. In my 52 years, I had never lost someone so close. I have lost other friends and family, but this was new. I had an emotional connection with Roby that was eclipsed only by my wife Debbie. I spent the next two days searching online for every picture, every article, every blog tribute, and every video of Roby that I could find. I read and listened and Googled over and over. I tried to step away from my computer, but felt emotionally compelled to keep reading, looking, listening. Was there something I missed? Had anyone posted anything new? What was I hoping to accomplish with all this?
I was supposed to see him in three days, and we were “gonna have fun”. We were gonna do music, then he and Erick Hailstone were going to go to “Never Never” land playing guitars. Then we were gonna eat tacos really late on New Year’s Eve off of the taco trucks downtown. We had a plan.
And then he was gone.
I was angry at him. I cried a lot. I smiled a lot. I sobbed. I was all over the map with my emotions. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced.
So what? Glad you asked. You should always ask, “so what?”
My purpose for writing all of this is to share an additional discovery with you all.
The discovery is this: You don’t know until you know.
You don’t KNOW until you KNOW.
YOU don’t know until YOU know.
You DON’T know UNTIL you know.
Catch my drift?
It is very easy for us to view and judge the world based upon our own experiences. We determine how people ought to be feeling. We judge their spirituality based upon how we believe we would react to the same situation. We wonder why they can’t get over things, and determine that they should be further along in their emotional lives.
We minimize their life experiences, and measure their lives by our own. We forget that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made”, uniquely individual. We assume that everyone is like us. They ought to feel like we do, think like we do, and react like we do.
And the crazy insane thing about it is: we are SO sure that we are right.
Of course, that all changes when what they are going through finally comes into our life. Then we really see what we are made of.
Let me confess some things.
I have never, ever been able to relate to things like candle light vigils, flowers and stuffed animals at a makeshift shrine, posters addressed to the deceased, etc. I always thought that that stuff was well, a little extreme.
Now I understand it.
I have never understood what parents went through as the nest was emptying out.
Now I understand it.
I have never known how wrong I could be in judging other people’s reactions to pain sorry, change, loss, etc.
Now I understand it.
One great thing that has come as a result of this year’s discoveries is this: I am a different guy. At least I think so. I certainly hope so.
God has kept His promise to “work all things together for good for those who love God”. (Romans 8:28)
God has taught me a lot through the discoveries of 2007.
I am slowing down a bit now. I am lingering in conversation a bit longer. I am trying harder to look into people’s eyes, and listen more intently. I am trying to love more.
I am trying to not relate with others based upon their feelings for life, their experiences, their reactions, etc. I am trying to listen and understand, and I am trying to simply love people better, regardless if can relate to them at all.
I am revisiting old attitudes that I have had, and repenting of some of them. I am trying to be patient with others who are judging people based upon their limited experiences.
Most of all I am thanking Jesus for stepping into my world. The Bible says that “He was in all ways, temped as we are, and yet without sin”.
I am stuck in my highs and lows. I cannot avoid times of sorrow. I am a man, and stuck in my humanity, good and bad.
But Jesus stepped into MY world, put on flesh, and chose to feel the things I would rather avoid. He did it so that He could be my “Great High Priest”, one who could identify with my weakness, and comfort me.
Some discoveries are things that we go looking for. Other discoveries blindside us.
If you are a Christian, God will use every single one of them for your good and His.
May I encourage you to not be so sure in your judgment of how others ought to be feeling? You probably don’t have all the facts, and you haven’t walked in their shoes. You very possibly don’t now how they feel, and if you had more facts, you would probably change your tune about them.
And, more than anything, …remember that Jesus LOVES them.
He loves you too.
By pastorbillwalden
Genesis 13:14 And the LORD said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him…
By faith, Abraham had responded to the call of God, and left his homeland. God promised Abraham many blessings. (See Genesis 12:1-3, 7) You might say that Abraham was in an expectant frame of mind. After all, God had promised him much. It would have been easy for him to be expecting much for himself.
Abraham and his nephew Lot were traveling and living together, and God had blessed them both. They had both prospered, so much so that the land was not able to support their flocks and servants. There was a lack of supply for the demands that their increasing flocks had. Abraham took the lead in finding a solution.
He suggested that they separate, in order to avoid further strife. It wasn’t a matter of jealousy or competition between them. The land was simply unable to support them both, and it became a matter of logistics, and Abraham’s desire to live in peace.
Abraham gave Lot first choice about which portion of land he would prefer. Though having received promises that the land would be his, and besides the fact that he was the elder relative, Abraham gave Lot first choice regarding where he wanted to live. Abraham settled for second choice. He took what was left over. Abraham’s solution started with him being second.
It was then that God repeated his promise to Abraham, and even increased the revelation of the promise, giving more detailed revelation and instruction. (Genesis 13:14-18).
What is the point of all of this?
Abraham took second place to his younger nephew. He took second place though the promise of the land had been given to him. He did not demand his rights, or claim superiority by reminding Lot that the promise of the land was to him, not to Lot.
What was the result of this? “And the LORD said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him…”
Further revelation and direction came after Abraham denied himself the position that was rightly his.
What promises has God given to you? What God given rights do you have? What God given respect ought to be given to you? I would say that God has given all of us promises, rights, and the desire for respect.
And yet…is your desire to live in peace with those around you, or to have your God given rights? Abraham chose peace over his rights. What was the result? An additional revelation from God. God once again reminded Abraham of His promise to Abraham, and then told Abraham to begin to “see” the land, walk the land, envision the promise, to prepare for what God would give him.
Self denial brought revelation and instruction, which further bolstered Abraham’s faith. Abraham gave up the lesser (the plains of Sodom) for the greater (the revelation of God).
In the end, Lot’s choice cost him much. Abraham’s self denial brought him much.
Jesus chose to pursue peace instead of His rights.
“The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)
There are great blessings that follow “after” we do what Jesus would do.
Follow Jesus, and know that an “after” will come to you.
By pastorbillwalden
Twenty six years ago today, I married Deborah Jeanne Durry. Her father had died just four days before, a victim of cancer. Just two days before our wedding day, we had the memorial service for her dad. Then after two more days, we made our commitments before God, family, and friends. After 26 years of marriage, and 31 years of knowing each other, I thank God more than ever for January 2, 1982. I thank God for my wife.
Back in 1982, it wasn’t standard operating procedure to video tape or even tape record wedding services, otherwise, you would be seeing a YouTube link with two very young looking people getting married. I sang to Debbie at our wedding, and in between verses of the song, I held her hand, and told her how nervous I was. She told me later she didn’t dare cry, because she knew that would be the end of me. Even then, she was being strong for me. That hasn’t changed.
We met at Fullerton College, in the music department. We were both music majors. She played clarinet, and I played saxophone. We had lots of classes together, and eventually became friends. In fact, we became really good friends. Before we were ever officially dating, we were friends for three years.
One funny story to share…
My best friend back a Fullerton College was Richard Hubbard. He was a sax player also, and we sat next to each other in the wind ensemble. From my position, I could look through the ensemble, and watch Debbie where she was seated as 1st clarinet. From that position, she used to wink at me.
I leaned over to Richard one day, and said, “Hey Rich, Debbie Durry is winking at me”. His response?….”Aww, she winks at everybody.” It was true, she did wink a lot, because she was so sociable and friendly, but I figured I might have a chance with her, and so friendship turned to dating, dating to an engagement, and eventually marriage.
We can look back and see that one of the blessings of our marriage today is because we were friends for a long time before we ever dated. It was a very natural thing to fall in love with this woman who had become my friend and confidant. I would encourage all young people to spend a lot of time with groups of peers, and become friends for a LONG time before even allowing romance to enter the equation. As both a husband of 26 years, and as a pastor, I know what I am talking about here. Romance comes and goes; passion is up and down, but friendship is a steady foundation that becomes a platform for love and commitment that will hold couples together through thick and thin.
I also knew from the beginning that Debbie was so different from most of my friends. I respected her so much, and she made me want to be a better man that I was.
Debbie is my best friend, most honest critic, and greatest supporter. If you are reading this blog, and getting any kind of blessing out of it, she has something to do with it. If you attend the church that I am privileged to pastor, then you already know what I am saying. God has used her to fortify me, stabilize me, and provide an environment for me where God could change me by His Spirit.
It is too light a thing to say, “Life can be hard”. You know what folks? Life IS hard. I know that God has blessed me with Debbie. She, by God’s grace, has made my journey towards Heaven so much more meaningful and bearable. In fact, she has made the pilgrimage wonderful.
She has been and continues to be a wonderful mother to our three children. She is a very gifted music teacher at American Canyon Middle School.
Copy and paste this link for a recent newspaper article on Debbie’s teaching career.
http://www.americancanyoneagle.com/articles/2007/12/18/features/school_news/iq_4269919.txt
She is a very gifted and anointed teacher of the Bible. She is also, in my humble opinion, one of God’s best kept secrets regarding women teachers. If Christendom and the church at large knew about my wife, she would be on a speaking tour, and I would be eating a lot of frozen dinners.
I could go on and on, but I won’t. I am thankful, I am blessed, and I am privileged to have a wonderful wife. It has been rewarding to grow older together, and have a friendship and a love that only goes deeper as time goes by.
My prayer for all of you who are married: Make every effort to die to yourself, and love your spouse. It is a paradox of God, that as you die to yourself in order to love your spouse, then you are blessed.
Debbie, I love you. You already know that, but I wanted to say it again here, in front of God and everybody.
By the way, for those of you reading this, don’t call me today…I’ll be out with my wife.
By pastorbillwalden
For those of you who desire to see more video clips, hear music, or read personal stories about Roby, I have listed some links you can check out.
Roby’s performance at Calvary Chapel Oxnard, December 23, 2007
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=25089416
An audio file: Roby playing with Bob Bennett and Steve Hopkins:
http://www.calvarychapelsalem.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=9&year=2007
Scroll down to the September 23 date to listen.
Roby’s MySpace page: check out music, thoughts, farewell messages from friends:
http://www.myspace.com/robydukemusic
Pete Claproth’s blog page: Pete has written some great memories of Roby.
http://peterdavidclaproth.blogspot.com/
Roby’s web page: old news and new news.
http://www.robyduke.com/
Phoenix Preacher hosted some threads where many people shared their memories.
http://phoenixpreacher.com/?p=2415
http://phoenixpreacher.com/?p=2418 Includes a link to a YouTube video
http://phoenixpreacher.com/?p=2419 Includes a link to a YouTube video
Pastor Steve Hopkins, Calvary Chapel, Salem Oregon. Steve was very good friends with Roby.
Check out Steve’s blog at http://thepreachersfishinghole.blogspot.com/
Matt Kees is part of the Christian Musician’s Summit.
He posted two of the YouTube videos of Roby. (Thanks Matt)
Check out Matt’s blog: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=55772139&blogID=342264146
A young man named Jeremy did a video using Roby’s song, “One Embrace”.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=7921785
Thanks all. I have learned through losing my friend that the things that count most are God and people. I already knew that, but now I know it more.
May your hearts be strengthened even more to truly love folks, look into their eyes when you talk to them, and don’t be in a hurry.
Blessings all…
